Monday, February 22, 2010

The Museum Theory

Let’s turn back a few days to the mall-walking adventures of Center of the Universe (CoTU) and yours truly. I told the true story of the minx who caught the CoTU’s eye as we were rounding the bend on the upper level. (No, don’t try to read anything into that—it really just refers to the structure of the shopping center, not the little tramp’s anatomy.)

There’s been some fallout.

As in, I could fallout of my chair from the feedback the Hubster gave me about my reaction to the event. (Or non-event, since nothing really happened.) Anyway, he felt it was necessary to defend his actions. Again. And again. Not only for himself, he explained, but for all of mankind, or manhood, or Mannheim Steamroller for all I know—it’s hard to keep listening after a certain point, but I digress…

So I know I’ve said in the past that if the CoTU wants to rebut my posts, he should get his own blog. I’m still sticking with that notion. And yet, because this particular argument, and make no mistake, it IS an argument—bears consideration, I choose to repeat it here.

Here it is. This is supposed to justify men staring at women, allowing their tongues to drag along the floor as their eyes glaze over, and their I.Q.s drop as precipitously as the value of tinsel in January.

“You know how you can spend your whole life looking for the one painting to make your home complete—the one that suits you perfectly, that has the size, the color, the composition that really speaks to you? You’ve looked for it over and over, and when you finally find it, you can’t wait to buy it and bring it home and hang it and have it to look at for the rest of your life? You know you’ll always enjoy it, and even though it was very expensive, you value it more and more as years go by.”

At this point I give him the “Uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah,” response that makes it sound as if I was paying attention. And then he concludes:

“But that doesn’t mean you stop going to the museum, does it? You can still appreciate art, even though the painting you bought is the only one you’d want to own.”

Hmph. So we’re still compared to property. This is just one step above the old adage about why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free… Now we’re paintings that cost a lot, but we’re here to be looked at.

Here’s my adage for CoTU: When you’re in a hole, stop digging.


  1. Well, that at least explains where my shovel went. Is his head still above ground?

  2. just say "fine." everyone knows thats the end of an argrument. Anything said after that is a new argument. = )

  3. CoTU is a fabulous abbreviation! Visiting from SITS :)

  4. At least he waited until you were home to argue. Mine would have made a big stink right there.

    Your blog is awesome. I'm following. :)

  5. Hi there:

    Your blog cracks me up. In honour of your hilarity, I've bestowed upon you a Beautiful Blogger Award. It's waiting on my, along with a puppy and some candy. Then you just need to get into my white van.

    You're seriously funny.


  6. These days, I need a lot of laughter. Good thing I found your blog! I can get a good dose of it here!! You are hilarious! I will follow the laughter...