Measuring the Eye Roll Factor

A Bloggy Play in Penguin Town

(Not to be confused with A Foggy Day in London Town.)

A play in one act

Act I, Scene I

Husband is in shower. Wife is reading USA Today at the desk in an overpriced hotel room in downtown (here pronounced “don-ton”) Pittsburgh.

Bathroom door opens. Hubbin emerges, wearing a towel wrapped around his waist, face covered in shaving cream, hair dripping wet.

He speaks:

“You know, I was just thinking about your blog. A thought occurred to me in the shower. When you call me the Center of the Universe, are you being sarcastic?”

Wife looks up in wide-eyed wonder. She speaks, deadpan:

“No. Huh-uh. Not at all.”

Husband nods in acknowledgement. “Cool. I didn’t think so.”

He returns to bathroom, razor in hand.

Eye roll factor: 10

Namely Leah

New on Facebook (at least new in my circles)—look up your name at http://www.urbandictionary.com/ and post their definition as your status update.


So here’s mine:

A unique individual who is always there for her friends. She is sometimes shy, and doesn't have complete confidence in herself even though she should, she always seems to know the right thing to say. She worries just a little too much, but always about the important things she needs to just take things a little more in stride XD. Leah = pretty and thin even though she may not think so.

Actually, that’s definition #3. Their #1 is hilarious when applied to me:

To describe something of such superb standards it almost cannot be described by any word or sentence or onomatopoeia in the English language.

Oh man, look at that Leah!


She soooo sexy!!!!

Let me just add one word: Not. And for people who are writing a dictionary, do their entries even make any sense?

Definition #2 reminds me too much of what I found when we looked up our names in high school, and I found mine to be “Weary” or “Wild cow.” I never did understand how those two could be simultaneous definitions for the same word. Anyhoo, here it is:

Biblical name: Hebrew origin, meaning "Gazelle" which is "beauty and grace", "also worthy cow" as in biblical days cows were very valuable and treasured.

Thanks, but I’m thinking, ‘not so much’.

So what is the deal? This website goes on and on, and actually their #5 definition is my favorite:

Female. Not a teenager anymore.


stubborn, trustworthy, loyal, punctual, amazing...


quite dillusioned but at least she knows it.


Fantastically funny.

Speaks sarcasm as a second language.


Hates late people.


Will run for the bus if she needs to.

Watches many many movies and can often be seen dancing.

Always there with a shoulder to lean on.


Leah is always on time and hates it when people are late and keep her waiting.

Leah can always put a smile on your face.

My response: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and sorry, but sarcasm is my first language (my first “Ma-ma” doubtless came out with an eye-roll) and I’ve learned to speak English with virtually no accent at all.

Late people are clear up to and including 10 minutes. Beyond that, a phone call, please.

Then, yes, yes, and should probably dance more often.

Yes. And what’s up with that punctuality thing again?

And finally, hopefully, yes.



What’s YOUR definition?