Generally Speaking

People say things without thinking. To be sure, this generalization applies to me, too. I once had a teacher who enjoyed saying, “All generalizations are false, including this one.” Still, as a whole, we say things that we often realize in retrospect, were foolish.

Of course you and I experience this less often than some people. You probably think I’m headed for the politicians, don’t you? Surprisingly, I’m not. Fish in a barrel, and all that. No, I’m getting at the inane things announcers say in commercials. Specifically I am addressing one in particular.

I’ve been hearing a mattress company ad on television lately that raises my blood pressure and sets my teeth on edge. Oh sure, lots of ads do that, and I couldn’t tell you the name of this advertiser even if I thought it advisable. There are dozens of them, and they all sound alike. Mattress Giant, Mattress Firm, Mattress Source, Mattress Direct, Mattresses R Us… I think you could play MadLibs and insert any noun after the word ‘mattress’, and you’d find there’s a company somewhere operating under that name. Like Mattress Canary. I’m just saying.

Here’s the irksome line: Nothing is better than a good night’s sleep.

Yeah, it sounds innocuous enough. We all like to sleep soundly. Heck, I’ve gotten to the point where I could safely say I cherish a good night’s sleep. It makes the world a better place in which to wake up. A good night’s sleep refreshes and rejuvenates us. On nights when we’re disturbed by storms, nightmares, sickness, phone calls or whatever, we really feel reduced the next morning. It’s harder to get going, harder to focus at work (or play) and our senses generally feel dulled at whatever we attempt.

But ‘nothing’ is better than a good night’s sleep? Really? Not a cure for cancer? Not selling the house you’ve already moved out of? Not finding the siblings from whom you were separated as children? Not getting pregnant when you thought you couldn’t? Not holding your newborn child/grandchild/niece/nephew/neighbor? Not winning the $389 jillion Power Ball jackpot? Not reading a headline about WORLD PEACE? –universal disarmament, clean water for everyone, renewable energy breakthroughs, a return to sanity and civil discourse? Really?

I know, I’m getting carried away, and it’s just a mattress commercial, but I can’t get past the unconditional, unqualified, categorical, absolute and unrestricted notion that NOTHING is better than a good night’s sleep. It sounds like one of those things you wish you’d never said.

A good rant, like a picture, may be worth a thousand words, but a generalization, like Yogi Berra’s famous observation about the verbal agreement, isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. And you can take that to the bank.

Things I Want Thursday

Because Sass over at The Life of Sass had a great idea for today, I’m participating in “Things I Want Thursday”. Here goes…



1. I want people to stop fighting. The people in government, the people in the media, the people in my life. Stop. It feels good to stop fighting. Nuh-nuh-nuh—none of that, “But they—“. Just stop.

2. I want people to stop preaching tolerance and start preaching respect. Tolerance connotes some teeth-clenching and some resistance. Let’s all acknowledge that everyone is just as entitled to a spot on the earth as everyone else. No more we vs. they—life is not a bridge tournament, though it would be a lot more civilized if it were.

3. I want an end to the name-calling. If people are going to bandy about terms like socialist, fascist, communist and the like, they ought to at least know what the words mean, and from some of the rhetoric I’ve read, it’s apparent that they don’t know. It's like in "The Princess Bride" when Vizzini keeps using the word 'inconceivable', and finally Inigo points out, "I think you do not know what that word means."

4. I want to remember to live in the moment. I’m always thinking of the other things I should be doing, instead of ‘being present’ where I am. I have read a lot about this, and I’m trying to do better. It’s a widespread problem, but that doesn’t make me feel any better about myself. I’m working on it.

5. I want fall weather! We seem to have jumped right into winter, with really cold temperatures and two tons of rain. Autumn is my favorite season, and unless things do a major 180 here soon, we’re going to have missed it entirely.

6. I want to learn to manage on four hours of sleep a night. I know I have said this before, but I’m not getting enough done. Come on, people, there are books to be read, blogs to be read and commented on, and fabric just crying out to be quilted. Plus I need to get back to exercising.

7. I want to take better care of myself. Yeah, I eat properly, but I need to (see #6) exercise. I know it, but am currently on hiatus with no good excuse…
8. I want to see my grandchildren more. With one in Boston and one in Sacramento this is hard. But it’s so awesome to have the little people around!

9. I want my kids to have a better life than I had. I certainly was fortunate enough to do better than my parents did, but this economy is making it tough for young couples to get ahead… I worry about their future, not just in terms of the economy, but also in terms of climate change and political stability.

10. I want a lot more than I thought I did when I started this!

11. I want a world where brains trump beauty, where manners trump crude, where sense trumps yelling. Oh, and of course where funny trumps young.

Is this too much to ask? What do you want?