Today the rain let up long enough for the Center of the Universe (CoTU) to put on his iPod and go out for a walk. I was still putting the finishing touches on my dress for the big wedding (youngest son—next Sunday—Pittsburgh! --be there, or be square!) so I stayed home.
When he returned, he confessed that about ten minutes of the time he was gone was spent chatting with the neighbors, so he was careful not to accept thirty minutes of credit for an actual twenty minute walk. He’s a stickler for the truth, and his ethics are above reproach. This has no bearing on his ability to annoy the socks off of me, or anyone else for that matter. But, as they say, that’s not important right now.
Meanwhile, I completed the hemming of the dress, the hemming of the lining (makes you want to read a Thomas Jefferson biography, doesn’t it—you know, the Sally Hemmings connection?), some actual taking in of the whole thing (yay—beats having to let something out, doesn’t it?), and the replacement of a fastener on the front doo-dad. Sorry for getting technical on you, but I call ‘em like I see ‘em. It’s a doo-dad; deal with it.
So with my major and massive wedding responsibilities out of the way (later this week I’ll tell you about the wedding canopy I made them), I was liberated from my sewing room to make lunch for CoTU and me. While I was doing the prep work, CoTU was looking out the window (as he often does while I toil) and noticed several deer tromping across our back yard. This is pretty much a daily occurrence, but he commented on them anyway. And, anyway, I went to the window to look, because even though it IS a daily occurrence, I am a sucker for seeing these huge mammals moseying across the bluegrass, munching on honeysuckle and dogwood as they go.
But I digress…
CoTU said, “You know, I encountered a group of female deer on my walk, and they just stood in the street as I approached. They were NOT backing down or running off, just because a 6’4” human was striding toward them.”
I astutely observed, “Well, they did have you outnumbered, hon. It’s not as if there was going to be a calculus test. If there’s a showdown, it’s going to be about brute strength.”
“Great,” he said. “’Man Trampled to Death By Female Deer in Local Subdivision’. I can just see the headline now.”
“Well,” I mused, “at least we’d know what to play at your funeral.”
He pulled his eyebrows together, squinted slightly and cocked his head at me, fearful of what might be coming.
“Doe, A Deer, A Female Deer…” I intoned.
His concerns were justified… Guilty as charged.