Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Nose Knows

Today I’m going under the knife, as they say, to correct my severely deviated septum. This should fix my breathing problems, after the swelling subsides and the pain ebbs. If I live that long. Whatever. (The septum is a wall inside your nose that separates the nasal passages.  In cases like mine, instead of being straight, the septum veer to one side and screws up your breathing, partially blocking air flow.) By the way, this is not to be confused with a 'nose job', and there will be no changing of my outward appearance.  Damn! 

There are lots of photos of 'septoplasty' on the web, and even lots of videos of the actual surgery, but I'll spare you.

I’m just saying, why didn’t someone fix this twenty years ago, when I was younger and healing was so much easier? Plus I would have had twenty more years of decent breathing. Breathing is not optional, I like to say. Although in this case it appears to be pretty much elective.

I’m going to see whether CoTU wants to bring his camera to the hospital and document the experience…Not the gory surgery stuff-- just the ugly swollen and bandaged me post-op.  It might make a good blog post later on. To paraphrase the great Gail Collins of the New York Times, I am not one of those people who believe everything happens for a reason, but I do believe that everything happens so I can blog about it.

Anyhoo, if I’m AWOL for a few days, I’m just wallowing in the pain. Or the drugs. Or the pain. You really won’t know which. Unless CoTU invades the blog and starts begging for a merciful end to MY suffering.

See you on the other side! --no, I’m not going to die, I mean the other side of the blogosphere. If I can find it. (And this is before the drugs.) 


  1. I hope the surgery goes well. I hope you blog about it and the recovery too. I have a deviated septum that needs fixed, but I'm still too scarred from the scar tissue removal I had from one nostril in 9th grade. If you say it's not that bad, maybe I'll suck it up and get it done finally.

  2. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

  3. Hi Leah! A septoplasty? That definitely sounds like a made up word to disguise a nose job. Monty Python had an elephantoplasty, where an elephant's trunk was grafter onto a man who was walking by the surgery when the elephant died. Hmmm. But good luck! Indigo

  4. Thank you, everyone, for all the good wishes! The surgery wasn't bad, but the allergic reaction I had to the antibiotic was not good! Today I'm vegging out, but Indigo, I must say that a nose job is a rhinoplasty-- and I love that Monty Python bit, too! I actually confirmed with my doctor up front that this would not be any visible change on the outside. Not that my nose couldn't be improved upon, but I'm just too old to be futzing around with that stuff!

    More soon!

  5. I had surgery done on my nose for the same thing years ago. But when wheeled into the operating room I was PARTIALLY under, but not completely. So I heard them tapping with the hammer to break something in my nose, but I'm trying to scream "I'm NOT asleep people!"

    I think I passed out on my own (thank you) when the blood started pouring down into the back of my throat and they were suctioning it out.

    Yeah, Not a good experience. I won't be doing any volumtary surgeries from now on.

    I'm glad to hear YOURS went better. Minus the allergic reaction.

  6. good luck! It's an easy procedure.