Friday, December 11, 2009

Dear So and So,

Apologies to the blogger who inspired the notion of using Fridays to address certain wrongs committed by fellow inhabitants of this planet on which we ride. I am currently travelling, and have intermittent computer access, and slow internet connections, or I would link you up to the muse who planted that seed, and give her due credit. Alas, I will just have to promise to provide that information when I have returned to my home base-- soon!

With a tip of my hat to the above-referenced blogger, here are a few “Dear You-Know-Who-You-Are”s:

Dear Chick-in-the-Pittsburgh-Hotel-Lobby,
What in the name of God makes you think it’s okay to come down to the communal breakfast in your jammies? You are not at home. This is not your kitchen. This is, in fact, the equivalent of a restaurant. Would you go to the IHOP in your pajamas? Would you go to Denny’s in your nightgown? Good grief, I would hope not. Especially in this particular pair of jammies that are thin enough to display your womanly assets in more detail than is truly appropriate for the young children present. Personally, I think the female form is totally beautiful, but I truly don’t care to see yours displayed in this setting. Time and place, Cookie. Think: context.

Dear Funky-Lady-Seated-Next-to-Me-on-the-Plane,
For all the money in the world I cannot imagine why you would not turn off your CrackBerry even after two announcements requesting ALL of us to do so by the flight attendants. I turned off my iPod (wait while I adjust my halo), and no doubt dozens of other passengers turned off their phones and other devices.

When the attendant walked by and I asked her to help you with this decision, you got really snarky. Your brash, “We’re not gonna crash, lady!” struck me as rather peculiar. I really rather wonder what it is that makes you, a 60-something traveler with her hair in a pony tail and her panties in a knot, think that you know more about the aeronautics and avionics involved than the FAA. Oh wait—could it be because you’ve continued to use your PDA when it should have been turned off on other flights that did not crash? Hmmm…

Fortunately, the cabin attendant spoke sternly to you and stood there till you actually turned it off and put it away, but you, the offending offender, sniped at me, “You could have just asked ME to turn it off, you didn’t have to tell her!” I said, “They’ve made two announcements—why would I think you’d do it because I ask you to?”

So next time you fly, what about just following the rules and assuming they have a reason for asking us to ‘power down’? Gee, thanks a bunch. I was hoping to reach my destination safely.

That’s it for today. I’m sure that there are a lot more people I’d like to tell off, but they’ll have to wait for another post. Meanwhile, I’m generally not a cranky person. I’m pretty upbeat, and mostly rather friendly. But I do know how to dish the snark, and I thank you for letting me do so here! And you know, it feels good!

6 comments:

  1. I can feel your frustration through this post...almost makes me want to strangle those people. I work in customer service and I see people regularly that I'd like to strangle. A couple of my favorites:

    Cust- "I need a money order for $100.00"
    Me- "Sure, that will be $100.19 please, oh I'm sorry money orders must be paid with cash only."
    Cust- "but it's a debit..."
    And what I'd LOVE to say "That's right! But it's still NOT CASH!"

    Cust- "I need to fill up out there on pump 3"
    Me- "I'm sorry all of our pumps are prepay, it's company policy."
    Cust- "Well I don't know how much I'm getting..."
    What I wish I could say "I'm sorry you're such an idiot, but that doesn't change the fact that my bosses want you to pay first!"

    Sorry to go off...have a wonderful Friday and safe travelling.

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  2. Ah, the joys of traveling. Don't you come across the most interesting people?

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  3. I was raised with modesty. I can't get over how a lot of women nowadays, have no concern for their own modesty.
    I am constantly on my sisters case, telling her to put a pin in that shirt. No one here wants to see 90% of your boobs!

    Btw..Great rant!

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  4. Can see a little of both sides here. I follow the dang policy but am very sure that I can't make my Ipod Nano a remote control for a 757. There's no app for that.

    Note that I am not following up on Heather's comment above... nnnnn... just hit post comment... let it go... rrrr

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  5. Ha! I loved these. Your woman on the plane reminds me of a self-important beeatch next to me a few months ago.... She spent 15 minutes calling all the members of her family to complain, LOUDLY, that the airline was making her late for dinner because they held the plane so some of us could make the connection. This included my grandchildren, who were sitting across the aisle being angels despite a horrible travel day. I just alternately stared and snickered at her. Eventually she caught on that I was laughing at every sentence... and so were people all around us.

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  6. SO funny...and it made a great post. And jammies at the breakfast? WTF?

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